Thursday 16 January 2014

Growing up



The happy endings in movies are just silver linings that we all want to believe in. I mean, don't get me wrong, some people do have their fairy tale endings - It isn't impossible, it just takes effort (a lot of it). See, that's what they lack off in the silver screens. Yeah, I get it, movies are created for entertainment purposes and all that jazz. But you see, movies that we once saw as a child or even a teenager were the ones that gave us hope. Like, lesbihonest, anyone growing up watching the famous disney princesses, wanted to be nothing less than a princess. The Princess Diaries - one day a normal girl living in the attic, the next day, a god damn princess who almost owns a whole country or whatever it is that she owns. LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME. That movie totally haunted me for months. I just sat there waiting for someone to come over in a limo just to tell me that I am actually a princess. That's complete BS. I'm 21, and that shit hasn't happened to me yet. And like just all the other lovey-dovey sappy movies. You don't just fall in love at first sight (though, it does happen - damn all those lucky bitches) - you actually have to work on it. Reality is a bitch and unfortunately, it is the real deal. Movies seem to just skip on the hard parts and focus on like the happy parts (eventhough that's the whole point) but we sometimes, brush it aside too.

To fall in love -
It takes up a lot of you. It sometimes consume you as a whole. You've got to be confident, empathetic, loving, caring and all the sugar and spice that makes everything nice. Damn, you can't even love yourself to the fullest (unless you're a victoria secret model or Beyonce), and yet you'd have to find it in you to love and care for the other person. Heck, falling in love is actually a full time job you signed up for subconsciously. You feel me? I'm not saying that I'm an unhappy lady that will grow old with 27 cats but what I'm saying is that, to love someone, to be with someone takes effort. You don't just go with the flow and if things don't turn out right, you resolve to the "It's just not meant to be" cliche. Honestly, it took me awhile to grasp that concept, but really, take a step back and soak it in. If you want that shit so bad, you'd get off your ass and work for it. If it's not working out, that's okay, you come up with an alternative and no regrets cause if it still doesn't work out at all and you've tried everything you can, at least you know, you've given it your best so you don't go on saying "Oh I should've done that". Just like that Bruno Mars song "I should've bought you flowers and held your hand" Like, bitch you had your chance, you be wastin' it on something else. NAHT MA PRABLEM. Really though, I know I'm one to say, but I'm working on it. You get what you give. It's all about give and take - compromise, work around each other's flaws and everything else. It's not about possession or revenge and all that negative shit. It's about embracing each other and committing 110% to one another. EFFORT - With God's will, both, you and your partner's effort will guarantee you a long lasting (and a happy) relationship.

To live the student life -
To graduate, that's probably not a problem. Everyone can do it, like just as long as you finish your course (no matter how long it takes). To graduate with good grades, that's the problem. Times now aren't like the old times. Reality is - more and more people can afford education now, which is a good thing but along with that comes the competition. People strive to be the best and everybody wants to attain a well-paying job. So, you'd have to be the creme de la creme to succeed. That puts every individual under pressure. Just when you're trying to juggle your grades, you'd have to think about other expenses. If you're still living with your parents while you're in uni, good on you! logistics, bills, food are all well taken care of but if you're living alone and you're overseas, you'd understand the pain that i'm feeling. To be honest, I'm not very good when it comes to saving money. So, I go dry at the end of every month with probably only AUD$ 0.02 in my bank account (literally). I have no income of my own and I depend on my allowance every month. I would work if I could but the course I'm doing doesn't really give me the flexibility option to squeeze in free hours to work (unfortunately) and if I do work during the weekends, I don't want to have to prioritise work over my studies. I am afterall, working on increasing my cgpa to apply for a scholarship or at least a study loan and (sadly), I'm not a genius. So, it's tough. you really got to work through it. I could barely count the number of breakdowns I've had since I enrolled in uni. You've also got to think about your working options - as if thinking about uni itself isn't already overwhelming. Like where are you going to work, what is your salary going to be like and everaythaaaaang elseeeeeee. You'd never thought it'd be this hard hey? I know I didn't.

The real world -
I haven't really entered the working world just yet but my boyfriend has. Although he is working in a totally different field, I believe somehow, the process would be somewhat similar. Other than having to be the best to obtain a well-paying salary, you'd have to be street smart as well. What's the use of all your certificates and distinctions if you can't communicate with your colleagues/clients. You pretty much have to be an all rounder to get your name out there. Also, probably at this moment in your life, you'd start thinking about settling down, getting your own place and all that "exciting" stuff! Guess what? ALL OF THAT requires money. AAAAANNNDDD, where would the money come from if you're not being paid well. To add on to that, nothing is free. The prices of everything is increasing (if you're a Malaysian at least). I can't even.

Why didn't anyone warn me that it's going to be hard. So, I could stop playing "grown ups" and actually live my life as a happy child and enjoy every bit of my childhood (not like I didn't but yeah...). ALSO spend part of my childhood hibernating (not really) cause I'm sure y'all know that, we, adults don't get much sleep - Barely, I would say. But, whatever, you can't stop time. As the famous saying goes "Time waits for no man or woman" So, in the end of the day, all you gotta do is suck it up and deal with it because that's what grown ups do.

XX

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